BREAKING FREE: LESSONS FROM A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SURVIVOR

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How many times have you done things with the hopes of feeling fulfilled, rather you feel empty and deeply upset?

Sometimes, we find ourselves in bad relationships, time-consuming obligations, jobs that we hate etc, but we find it impossible to break free. Most people are stuck in a particular undesirable position because they fail to realise that they have powers that can be harnessed to create positive change which will lead to personal advancement.

You cannot break free without adopting this simple method; FOCUS and FIERCE DEDICATION.

Amara (not real name) transformed from a victim of domestic violence to a survivor and her story will inspire others in similar position to break free.

Amara was a beautiful lady, envy of many but a victim of Domestic Violence. She was pummelled daily by her ex husband with whom she had two children. Nobody knew what she went through because she lived in constant denial with a very wrong perspective of what love and marriage was truly all about.

To her, love can be expressed in many sick ways through fury rage and not excluding brutal non consensual BDSM and other perverted things her ex husband did to her.

For six years she endured and will always put up a brave face whenever she attends social functions with her husband because she was afraid of denting her husband’s ‘image’ outside. Amara had unnecessary worries about what people will say if she dare  leaves her violent husband and the stigma of being a divorced mom in Nigeria.

The turning point came when her ex-husband abused her in a salon and she lost her front tooth. The husband once forbade her from leaving the house without his consent but Amara felt spending 30 minutes in a salon wont be a problem because she wanted to look nice for her husband on what would be their 6 years anniversary.

After the epic disgrace at the salon, Amara looked inwards and asked herself some thought-provoking questions. She took a bold step and broke free out of her own volition.

It’s been 3 months since she left and never looked back. I was amazed when I met Amara. Her poise, carriage and contagious smile, made me understand that it is possible to break free from any kind of situation. She shared with me her four steps to recovery;

  1. Self Realization. It came to a point where she realised that marriage is not meant to be endured but enjoyed.
  2. Rehabilitation. Through the help of her local church, she realised that a problem shared is a problem halved. She spoke up, met a therapist and was healed through the process.
  3. Forgiveness. Amara learnt that forgiveness is crucial to self recovery. It was very difficult but she became the bigger person and came out stronger.
  4. Focus. From her story, she stated that she learnt to focus on what’s really important which includes her children, her career and her happiness.

Do you need to break free from any challenge? Then try these 4 steps.

photo credit: Google images

Chioma Schmitz

Chioma Schmitz is the author of MY FORAY INTO THE DARK KINGDOM which is available on Amazon   https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0773XNM23Chioma worked as a system engineer in a multinational company for 5 years before launching her brand which focuses mainly on hair, lifestyle and beauty. She recently launched her magic hair growth spritz which is highly organic and very affordable and she wears her natural hair with pride! She's married to a wonderful German gentleman and they are blessed with children! She can be reached on chiomaschmitz@gmail.com

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About Chioma Schmitz

Chioma Schmitz is the author of MY FORAY INTO THE DARK KINGDOM which is available on Amazon   https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0773XNM23Chioma worked as a system engineer in a multinational company for 5 years before launching her brand which focuses mainly on hair, lifestyle and beauty. She recently launched her magic hair growth spritz which is highly organic and very affordable and she wears her natural hair with pride! She's married to a wonderful German gentleman and they are blessed with children! She can be reached on chiomaschmitz@gmail.com

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